Bring A Friend

I am doing something I rarely do, because today's my offering is not my own. I received it from www.timothyreport.com. I think the message is worth passing on.


A potentially dangerous situation has developed in the church sanctuary.
The pews, which are as old as the church, have begun to dry out. This loss of moisture, and the subsequent loss of weight, has led to the distinct possibility that they might float free.

This presents the possibility that during worship, a free-floating pew could damage a member or guest. Further, it is believed that even if a member or a guest were able successfully to dodge an oncoming free-floating pew, the evasive action would certainly disrupt the spiritual tranquility of the worshipping dodger.

The problem was brought before a committee in the latter part of last year.
The committee first considered using steel cables to anchor the pews to bedrock, which is 247 feet beneath the church. After receiving the cost estimate of $14,912.77 and extensive consultations with engineers, this idea was abandoned. The committee, after deliberating, decided that adding weight to the pews would be a better solution to the problem. The committee considered using brass scrap or lead ingots but they proved to be too expensive. Pig iron was found to be cheaper, but it, like brass and lead, had a certain lifeless quality. The committee searched for a medium density object which was both sparkling and vibrant.

After sifting through all of the possibilities, the committee has opted to use warm bodies to weigh down the pews, and the committee is asking the membership to provide the necessary weight. This can be done by coming to church and, if possible, by bringing a medium density object (in the form of a friend or neighbor) with you.

(The Timothy Report, www.timothyreport.com, May 28, 2007)

Across Religious Barriers

One of my favorite speakers is Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias. You can check out his website here: He once said that "If you can make fun of another religion, your really don't understand it." That quote has kept me thinking for some time.

I took part in a funeral service this evening for a man of another faith. I was asked to assist and did so happily. As I participated in the service as both worshipper and leader, I was impressed with the reverance of the people, the fact that they seemed to know what to do in the service without being prompted, and that they sang songs I'd never heard before.

The songs were scriptural and meaningful. It felt like a spiritual retreat at the end of the day; a time to refresh the spirit and refocus the mind on God. The people singing sang with passion and from the heart, something I've seen sadly lacking in services I've attended within my own faith circle. Through Christ, we have access and peace. I found both tonight.

I'm glad I came.

Police Appreciation

Last night our Ministeria Fellowship honored our local police officers with a banquet. It was a first for all of us. In fact, some long overdue awards were given. And, with a touch of irony, even though some awards were belated, a few "would not be in until Tuesday," due to their not being finished by the awards shop!

I had a moment to address the crowd. I observed that for me, "This is the safest place to be right now," right in the middle of all that firepower. It was good to show some honor and appreciation for those who put their lives on the line for us every day. I had the privilege to read some thoughts our AWANA children had written about police officers and to share a video featuring chilren replying to some questions asked them about the police.

One of them was, "What is a Police Officer's favorite food?" Would this be surprise? Every child (at least those on the video) answered, "Donuts!" It is interesting how even children have certain stereotypical perceptions.

I also read some of their written thoughts as they were asked to write a note using the acronym "P-O-L-I-C-E." Here are my favorites, with a touch of seriousness and humor:

P- eaceful
O- utstanding
L-ets us free sometimes (How did a child come up with this?)
I- ncredible
C- oncerning
E- xtra tools

P- rotect us
O- n the job 24-7
L- oves kids
I- will always protect and serve
C- atches bad guys
E- xcellent character

P- is for the people you have saved!
O- is for our love you gave us!
L- is for how loving you are!
I- is for how incredible you are!
C- is for cool you are!
E= is for your love of eating donuts! (See?)

And my personal favorite- and a favorite with many others, I might add:

P- lease step out of the car
O- open the door slowly
L- et me see your hands
I- D please
C- all for backup
E- veryone freeze

With gratitude to our men and women in blue...

Thoughts On A Local Chinese Restaurant

When I moved to Southwest Louisiana from Texas, it didn't take long to miss two things: good barbecue and good Mexican food. SWLA has its share of both types of food, but something seems to be missing: that Texas touch.

What we do seem to have plenty of in restaurants is: 1) Cajun Food; 2) Italian Food; and 3) Chinese Food. It goes without saying that we also have our share of fast food. I have a reflection on catgory 3.

In our town of approximately 25,000 people, there are at least 4 Chinese restaurants. That works out at one for about every 4000 people. One especially popular Chinese restaurant features a large buffet. No doubt this makes for larger patrons, like myself! This buffet features all the popular Chinese dishes like Cashew Chicken, three kinds of rice, and sweet and sour pork, among other things.

Like enchiladas.

That's right- enchiladas. Though I admit I haven't seen them there recently. This led me to conclude: "Where else but Southwest Louisiana would one find enchiladas in a Chinese restaurant?"

I love this place!

What Can I Do For You?

Our children's choir just finished their presentation of "Down By The Creekbank." They were all so cute, with their outdoorsy type of clothes on and their straw hats. Over the years, I have seen many children's musicals, but I must say, this was one of the best. The songs are lyrically strong and the music is simply toe tapping. There is laughter and seriousness. And it all comes down to a message that says to God, "What Can I Do For You?" I was moved by it all, and impressed with the effort and polished style that the children displayed.

One of the most moving moments came when a little boy prayed, "Lord help me not to forget you when I get old." "When I get old..." How often does it happen that adults lose their childlike wonder and awe of God's creation? We become jaded and feel that we've seen it all. We grow up and outgrow God. These children on stage, I thought, are so innocent and trusting. God help them not to lose that innocence prematurely. Soon enough they will grow up. Too soon for some.

But it is always good to pray, "Lord help me not to forget you when I get old."

Amen.

Never Eat Alone

Keith Ferrazzi wrote a book I recently read entitled "Never Eat Alone." It is about networking and how to make connections. I was able to put some of his advice into practice this week at an Executive Board meeting.

There I met and dialogued with pastors, and associate pastor, denominational executives and support personnel. For me, the meeting was almost incidental. I had more fun talking with these folks about their ministries, trends in their churches and what their current "Hot Buttons" were.

All it took was time to ask questions and listen. In so doing, I learned a great deal. In fact, I even took notes on what I had learned from these people. It is great to be able to pick the brains of people I meet. I have long done this, but didn't have a name or a good M.O. for it. Keith Ferrazzi taught me how to network with others. I have have heard it said that "You're only about two people away from anyone in the world." If this is true, I've made a good start this week.

Thanks, Keith!

Wacky Warning Labels

Winning entries in the 10th annual Wacky Warning Label Contest, sponsored by the advocacy group Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch:

— Winner: “DO NOT put any person in this washer,” from a tag on a front-loading washing machine.

— 2nd place: “Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level,” from a label on a personal watercraft.

— 3rd place (tie): “Do not iron,” from a Super Lotto ticket.

— 3rd place (tie): “Don’t try to dry your phone in a microwave oven,” from a cell phone.

— Honorable mention: “Please do not use this directory while operating a moving vehicle,” from the cover of a phone directory.