I Married My Son

Last Saturday, on a chilly wet evening in Dallas, I stood before my oldest son and his bride and officiated their wedding. It was a momentous event for me- one that I don't intend to repeat, except for when my youngest son gets married and it had better not be soon.

It was an event unique for me. I have never previously officiated at a wedding and been the father of the groom. I had prepared myself. I thought through the ceremony and selected fitting paragraphs and vows. I also knew that the ceremony had to be personal. After all, this was my eldest son who I was marrying.

I noted his birth which came after two miscarriages and was followed by another. I recalled his profession of faith as a boy and found a picture just before we left of my baptizing him. Where did this little boy looking up at his father go? I remembered my discussion with him of a call to ministry and it being made public on a Sunday evening at church. I also noted how his mother and I prayed for his wife, Melody, before we even knew her practically since the day he was born. I made reference to all of this- at least on paper.

I had good intentions. I was going to recite these memories just before I led the happy couple in a recitation of their vows. That is, until the ceremony began.

It began a few minutes late. Because of the weather, there were several late arrivals, so we delayed the start. The crowd was a decent size, composed mostly of fellow workers of the bride and groom with a smattering of family and friends. Four people came all the way from southwest Louisiana to join us. I give them my "You Are My Heroes" award.

I was fine and relaxed until a corsage was placed on the seat my mother, the grandmother of the groom, would have sat. She died only two months earlier and was thus unable to see her first grandchild get married. Seeing the empty chair caused my lips to quiver and my eyes to get misty. I quickly attempted regain my ministerial composure.

Then, a humorous moment occurred as an usher- the bride's brother- prepared to usher their mother to the altar to light the unity candle. Just as the couple prepared to embark down the aisle, his cell phone went off. It was not a mild tinkle which was emitted. It sounded like some sort of rap song at full volume. The now rattled usher hastily ripped the phone out of his pocket and silenced its urgent appeal to be answered- at least for the moment. Then, just as the mother and her escort son prepared to march down the aisle a second time, the cell phone again announced its presence. Thoroughly rattled, the young usher deftly jerked the phone out of his pocket for the second time and slammed it against the wall. This did not silence it, however. It took the best man retrieving it out of the corner into which it had been flung and turning it off and into blissful silence. I struggled to keep from laughing out loud. After all, the doors were wide open and the guests, sensing something was going on, were beginning to crane their necks for a look back our way. We were all glad that this did not occur even 60 seconds later when the usher and his mother would be at the front of the auditorium. In my mind's eye, I still see this possibility and imagine his mother attempting some sort of violent act upon her son.

After this minor misfortune, the rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch. That is, until I mounted the stage and began the ceremony.

I choked.

I got misty eyed. The loss of my dear mother was still tender to me. The corsage in the empty seat only reminded me of this fact. The emotions of my eldest son getting married overcame me. I could barely speak above a whisper as I choked back tears. I paused. I spoke. I regained composure only to lose it again. I could barely speak the words I had carefully thought out. I was barely able above a whisper to recall my son's birth, salvation experience, call to ministry, and announcement that "this is the one" he would marry.

Not to worry, though. By the time we got to the "I will" part, I was back to more of my ministerial self. We got through the ceremony, the exchange of vows, and the giving of rings. My son and his new bride are on their honeymoon in Hawaii, and I am back home.

It is difficult to wear both of those hats- father of the groom as well as officiating minister. I suspect I did as well as any of my brethren in the same situation. People commented that the ceremony was very touching. I hope so. In one fell swoop, I proved that preachers are humans, too.

After all, I married my son.

Creative Signery

A friend of mine knows I like to collect examples of unusual signs, particularly church signs. He was only happy to oblige with the following offering recently. The words on the sign refer to a sermon the preacher was preaching, but I don't recall to what the title refers. Perhaps it was about John the Baptist. Anyway, you will probably agree that it is a particularly "arresting" church sign.

Hearty Hardy

Today, pastor Hardy Estes got the thrill and scare of his life. He preached the annual convention sermon at the Louisiana Baptist Convention. Hardy serves as pastor of the Marlow Baptist Church in Pitkin, Louisiana. You are forgiven if you don't know where that is. In fact, Hardy stated that it is located exactly "Four miles from the nearest cold coke." He preached on being good soldier of Jesus Christ. He also preached with good homespun humor filled with references to fishing and being from a very tiny "community."

This year, bucking the custom of having some rather well known preacher preach the annual message, our convention chose Bro. Estes. I say it with love- you don't get much more country than Hardy. This man has a heart as big as our state- and it shows. His preaching to Louisiana Baptists was probably one of the biggest thrills of his life. He admitted that he was scared to death. Imagine standing in front of a crowd of Baptists and trying to tell them anything. Especially preachers!

After admitting that he was standing in tall weeds, Hardy proceeded to share his heart with us. And that's what his message was- from his heart. I've heard many preachers stand to share "what God has laid on my heart," but never have I heard a message with more heart. Hardy is certainly a "hearty" preacher. He had the crowd laughing one moment and feeling convicted about not being a good soldier of Jesus Christ in another. I'll take his pathos over the well polished preachers, as I've aspired to be, who can conjugate Greek verbs with lexical precision but lack any real passion.

If I sound a bit gushing, Hardy is a friend of mine. I saw him a distance away after he preached and hollered at him. As soon as I came up to him, he gave me a bear hug that almost swept me off my feet. That's him- all heart. When I complimented him on his new looking sport coat, he noted that he got it for $35 on special at J.C. Penney. No pretentions with Bro. Estes!

I might also hasten to add that Hardy has been a student of mine in seminary extension classes. In fact, he took my "Introduction To Preaching" class. I would say that I taught him everything he knows. But I can't. I didn't teach him to preach from his heart. That can't be taught. But it can be shown and seen.

I saw it today in a country preacher from Pitkin, Louisiana.

Well done, my brother!

Controversies Make Conventions

I just returned from the 160th annual meeting of the Louisiana Baptist Convention in Alexandria, LA. We elected a new president, a first and second vice president, passed a budget, several resolutions and charter changes, heard reports from the various entities, and enjoyed some great gumbo in the exhibit area, which was provided by the Disaster Relief Team. (After all, this IS Louisiana!)

What we didn't have is controversy, unless you mean by controversy a group of well fed preachers debating over where to go for lunch.

What we also didn't have was a huge crowd. I didn't hear the final count of registered messengers, but it looked to me like there were fewer than even last year. I also noted that they seemed to have left even earlier. In fact, most of the business matters were rather routine, which delighted convention president, Scott Thompson, who noted joyfully more than one that "we are ahead of schedule." No complaint here.

In my short time in this state and in my experience with Baptist conventions some sort of controversy or controversies gets people out in attendance. It also makes for some interesting drama on the convention floor, and delicious overheard conversations as convention goers "politic" in the halls.

It is a bit sad that people don't seem to attend conventions when things are peaceful as when a fight is brewing. Is this the Baptist way? In a rather sad/humorous way, a friend of mine once dryly noted, "I went to a fight and a Baptist convention broke out." Because we are democratic in polity, and very much so, controversy is part of the Baptist way of life. A lack of controversy is what we pray for and seek.

But it doesn't necessarily make for well attended conventions.

Outside The Camp

During some recent commentary work, I discovered this bit of wisdom from a study of the book of Hebrews by A.W. Pink. The quoted material was written several centuries ago, but could well have been written today- with the exception of the controversies it mentions. Those were hot items in previous generations. We have plenty of our own new ones today.

Notice how this article insightfully reveals how people start cults, movements, and other uprisings. All one needs to do is insert the issue or controversy and the words apply. I would be interested in comments on this article:

In his most interesting and instructive work, "The Laws of Ecclesiastical Polity" - a standard work which long found a place in all well-furnished libraries - Richard Hooker, three hundred years ago, described the tactics followed by the Separatist leaders who preceded or were contemporaneous with him. We will give here a very brief digest of the same.

First, In seeking to win the people's attention unto their "cause, the would-be Separatists, loudly proclaimed the faults and failings of those in high places, magnifying and reproving the same with much severity, and thereby obtaining the reputation of great faithfulness, spiritual discernment, love of holiness.

Second, those faults and corruptions which have their roots in human frailty, are attributed to an unscriptural and evil ecclesiastical government, whereby they are regarded as possessing much wisdom in determining the cause of those sins they denounce: whereas in reality, the very failures they decry will adhere to any form of government which may be established.

Third, having thus obtained such sway in the hearts of their hearers, these men now propose their own form of church government (or whatever else they are pleased to designate their scheme or system), declaring with a great blowing of trumpets that it is the only sovereign remedy for the evils which poor Christen¬dom is groaning under, embellishing the same with an ear-tickling name or designation.

Fourth, they now "interpret" (?) the Scriptures in such a way that everything in them is made to favor their discipline, and discredit the contrary.

Fifth, then they seek to persuade the credulous that, they have been favored with a special illumination of the Spirit, whereby they are able to discern these things in the Word, while others reading it perceive them not.

Sixth, assured that they are led by the Spirit "This hath bred high terms of separation between such and the rest of the world, whereby the one sort are termed, The brethren, The godly, and so forth; the other, worldlings, time-servers, pleasers of men not of God." (Hooker, Vol. 1, p. 106).

Finally, the deceived are now easily drawn to become ardent propagators of their new tenets, zealous proselytizers, seeking to persuade others to leave the apostate "Camp" and join them on "the true scriptural ground." "Let any man of contrary opinion open his mouth to persuade them, and they close their ears: his reasons they weigh not, all is answered with 'We are of God, He that knoweth God heareth us' (1 John 4:6), as for the rest, ye are of the world" (Hooker). Such was the policy pursued by the "Fifth Monarchy men," the "Brownists," Thos. Cartwright and his fol¬lowing in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. Such, too was the course taken by John Kelly in Ireland, Alex. Campbell in Kentucky, more than a century ago—the latter founding “the Christian Church,” denouncing all others as unscriptural. So that Mr. J.N. Darby followed a well-trodden path!