This is what the nice gentlemen standing outside the store in the humid garden section asked as I was departing with a sack of newly purchased treasures. Normally, that is an offhand question and I normally give a equally bland reply, "Yep."
But this afternoon, the sheer silliness of the question struck me. Perhaps it is because I have been sick this week and had far too much time on my hands to think about and reflect upon things. I suddenly realized what a rediculous question the otherwise well meaning man made. Several thoughts ran through my mind:
1. Perhaps he is store security and asks questions like this of suspicious people to discover any nervousness, shifting eyes, or other signs of potential shoplifters.
2. "No, would you come inside and help me look?" (Wonder how he would have responded?)
3. Hey, would I be leaving this store if I DIDN'T find what I need?
4. This store doesn't have everything I need anyway.
5. Most of the stuff I think I need, I don't really need.
6. If there were something I REALLY needed, I might not be looking here anyway.
7. When I shop, unlike my wife, I zero in for the kill. I need little time to find, neutralize the target, dash to the nearest cashier, reach to the parking lot in record time. Trying to find things without asking anyone is one of the "guy things" I do.
8. What business of this is his anyway?
9. Why couldn't he just have said, "Thank you for shopping _________________."
10. Why couldn't he just have said, "Have a nice day?" Because I could then have said, "I'll have any sort of day I wish, thank you." (Owing to the "Big Bumper.")
11. "No, I just come in here and wonder around aimlessly hoping to find something I might need."
Finally,
12. "Well, I see you're fresh out of stuff I need today. I'll be back tomorrow."
Have a nice day. Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you found something here you need.
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