When You Think Of Your Feet, Think Of Your Shoes

I have to admit the message I've used for a title has had me scratching my head. I was then asked if I were comfortable and encouraged to follow some who-knows-where weblink into some sort of black hole oblivion. I politely declined the offer, choosing instead to banish the offending message to the limbo of the trashcan.

I'm talking about, junkmail, webtrash, UBE/UCE: Unsolicited Bulk E-mail/Unsolicited Commercial E-mail, which are all synonyms for spam. The variety and creativity of these messages leaves me with a grudging admiration.

You see strange names like "Bridget," or "Wendell," and so forth. They even have last names. Spam has become so personal. I have noticed that I am even spamming myself since I am now getting email from my email address to my email address. Once I noted that our minister of music had sent me email that offered a personal product for men, shall we say. I had seen that it was from his email address and opened the mail. Gotcha! It was quite a shock to read the message and ponder why he was sending me this offer. Later I realized it's all a computer trick. At least I hope so.

Then the messages:
"I could not believe my eyes."
"Better try before you die."
"You better be more thin, think about it."

Then the ominous "Your Card balance is currently overdue and we require an immediate payment of 403,10." (How much is "403,10?"

Anyone with an email address gets similar messages and even worse, I'm sure. Offers from Canadian pharmacies, herbal product peddlers, and so called "lonely hearts." Interesting to me that, though they seem to know me, my credit or bank account so intimately, they don't even know my first name. "Dear Customer," or "Dear (Insert first part of email address," or simply "Dear " with a big blank left. Maybe they don't know me as well as they'd like me to believe. I have a hunch that, should I respond to their insidious solicitation they would know me and my bank account very well. I, unfortunately, could possibly say goodbye to both.

In the meantime, my spam box fills up like the kittylitter box at home, waiting to be dumped, full of things I'd rather not think about.

Apparently these bits of internet refuse get some results. The spammers haven't quit. If anything, they've stepped up their efforts and become more creative. So computer programmers will continue to attempt to outwit the spammers while the spammers continue to attempt to outwit the computer programmers. In the meantime, I have a lot of "urgent" messages to delete.

What was that one about "These perfectly crafted accessories will inspire respect to their owner!"

Double click.

Too late. Now I will never know.